Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I can't believe I'm doing this again!

Yes, I had a baby last October at 44 years old. My 'surprise' baby, you might say. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be raising yet another child at this point in my life with the idea of being an empty nester as my light at the end of my personal tunnel of life.

To say that I was unhappy about the pregnancy is an understatement. I was half way through my MBA and a baby was not in the plans. My husband was thrilled, of course, since at 50 years old, he had yet to be a father. I was less than thrilled. In fact, I was downright angry. A baby threw a wrench into my plan to finally, at long last, concentrate on MY life instead of everyone elses. It was my turn to do what I wanted without having to worry about the kids. I had spent my entire adult life raising children and I was done - or close to it. It was now my turn.

But, God does indeed have a sense of humor. I suppose it is my destiny to forever raise children (especially since my 19 year old has no intention of ever growing up!).

My second son was born October 24, 2008 and he was beautiful from the moment he was born. He has brought so much joy to my life and we love him immensely.

Do I regret him? Not for an instant. Having a child at this age is so completely different from having them younger. I am so much more confident in my abilities as a parent and I take more time to enjoy this one than I did my older children when they were young. Its as if I have been given a precious second chance to get it right.

I just hope I can remember the mistakes I made so that I don't repeat them!